Topic of the Day: Insecurity

Looking at this photo, I bet a good portion can say: I've felt that way. The feeling of insecurity is widely known, and sometimes too well. Both boys and girls. It's there. With so much influence, those magazines displaying thin girls or muscular guys and our very own idols (celebrities, friends, media) we are all so aware of.

This topic to me, is a very close to heart one. As I was also a kid who struggled with being confident (and I still struggle today). It's been a long road -- I can tell you that. I used to always be called 'fat' by those kids from school. And being a kid, that really hurt like hell. I wasn't ever skinny I don't think, I was always meatier than everyone else. There were moments where I wish I was thinner, and I even blamed my parents. I hated school half the time and all around me was the one word that people kept saying. It's been fourteen years and it still goes on. 

I'm not perfect, and never will be. It was a long road to recovery. I knew that that one word hurt me, and I wanted to feel better so in the end I think I ended up hurting others. In some part of me, I wanted revenge. I took the easiest path and that was to inflict back pain on the ones who gave it to me in the first place. To this current day, things hurt less.

I think it is these very things that I did led me to be a better person. I'm not saying that any of it was good, but as I matured I have learnt  from it. I learned that I have to accept me and that includes the whole package: body, face, eyes, everything. Eventually, I got tired of crying about this, because it truthfully wasn't worth my time any more. No matter what and where you go, there will always be a pair of eyes staring down on you. I learnt to embrace all my good and not think about the negative. Everyone has potential. I always say: "Beauty is skin deep. You can always look beautiful on the outside, but it has no meaning if the heart is rotten"

Though it is inevitable that there are days where I completely break down, it is those moments that I look at myself and feel wonderful that make me confident. Through those experiences, countless tears, screaming, questioning, and pondering I have finally reached a point where I just stopped caring. I think things happen for a reason; for better or for worse. I learned to stop listening to those voices and instead find my own. I cannot emphasize enough that being beautiful has no meaning if your inside doesn't match up. A light will be sparked. Your personality is the flame that lights up the candle, it is with that flame that the beauty of it shines.

"Inside all of us is hope"

God gave us a heart, a brain, and a life to live. Living it unhappily because of insecurities is not worth it. There is so much more beyond looks and I believe each and every one of us can reach the stars. There is no end to how far you can go, and everyone has the potential to be and feel wonderful. There may be times in which we question our presence and who we are, but it is all the journey I think we have to take to find it. It took me fourteen years and counting to finally let things slide. I know I'll never look like how my best friend looks like, and that I might never be as thin as some super model. But I do know that there's so much more for me, and I can push away these insecurities and pull through. Inner beauty is also the best foundation to build on, and from there, a outer beauty confidence I think will be born.

I believe in inner beauty, strength, and the personality that completes it. Again, I believe everyone has potential, and that those magazines should give us ideas of creativity not ideas of image and how we should look like. There shouldn't be a guideline.

As Marilyn Monroe gladly said: "Imperfection is beauty; madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring"
Our imperfections make us unique, and we can learn to embrace it. (:

I wanted to make this post because for whoever and whomever might be reading this, maybe you'll find that there is so much more in life. And that never are you alone in this world -- because for quite some time... I, myself thought I was alone. But it's not true. So many people are out there going through the same thing, and my own story has only made me stronger.

Anyway, don't stop believing. Don't stop loving.

Live well, laugh often, LOVE always.


Until next time,

xoxo

Arizona.